The terrible twos, how terrible are they really, and is there a cure?!

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The answer in short is....... wait for it..... F#*N HORRENDOUS, and no.  I have no idea if my child is like an exception and maybe everyone else is just pretending their kids are amazing, but I truly would like to know why we aren't talking about this widespread epidemic.  Perhaps it is his molars, maybe he is sick, over-stimulated, too much sugar, not enough sugar, or maybe, he's just a straight up asshole.  

I cater to this tiny human and his feelings and try to build him up and not get mad and have tried to keep my cool whenever possible, and what is he doing in response to all of these wonderful parenting skills I am throwing down?  NADA.  I swear he is out to get me, he likes to see me squirm, whoever said toddlers do not have a specific agenda and are just trying to express themselves are smoking too much unicorn puff.  

Every single time we go out in public, even if it is to the most fun place on earth, this beast is yelling or crying or limp noodling me to the point of no return.  Do you know how hard it is to carry a nearly 40lbs limp noodle having a tantrum like in the tv shows?  HARD.  My arms are going to fall off.  Every time it is time to come back inside, or go home, or go to a party, or come home from the pool, or go to the pool, it's a WWF wrestling match.  I don't want the belt, I just want a nap.

So, what am i going to do about it.  I am never, ever, leaving, the house, AGAIN.  Just kidding, that isn't possible unfortunately, however I am most certainly open to saying that toddlers are jerks and I am strongly considering turning to crystals and meditation, Mama gotta do something.  If you see me wandering around town with a giant crystal around my neck talking to myself just wave and know that you are not alone, I too, have entered the terrible twos, and we should have a wine some time.  

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